Before the whole world knew her as “The Divine Miss M,” Bette Milder was ours. In the early ’70s, bawdy, belt-y Bette was performing for the NYC bathhouse boys, and don’t think she’s forgotten it, either. “I mean, if I had a nickel for everybody that said they saw me at the baths,” says Midler in our recent interview, “I would be Joe Billionaire by now!”
Midler would go on to global fame, reaching beyond music to become a celebrated name in film, television and on the stage, winning Grammys, Golden Globes, Emmys and a special Tony Award. And now, the eagerly awaited return of one of show business’s most versatile performers has arrived with the release of her first album in eight years, It’s the Girls!, a tribute to some of the greatest female harmonies in history.
Midler talked about the anticipated tour she’s about to launch in support of this latest effort – and the truck full of hairpieces she’s schlepping along (“Cher has 55 wigs; why can’t I?!”). She also touched on her early support of the LGBT community, the degradation of the word “diva” and her plan to avenge Mae West for sending her a cease and desist.

You know how much we gays love our girls. How much do you keep your gay following in mind when you make music, particularly with It’s the Girls!?
To tell you the truth, it really didn’t cross my mind. The music I chose is music I had a lot of affection for. Some of these songs I’ve known since I was a little girl. I feel like if I have a strong feeling for this music, people will also have a strong feeling for it. The truth is, you cannot pander. You have to go with your gut and your heart and be true to yourself, and hope that people like it. They generally do.

You were welcoming to the gay community at a time when many weren’t. When you look back at your early support for the LGBT community, what do you recall as being the moment that galvanized you to stand up as an ally?
I had been in the theater for a long time, from the time I was a young person, and I’d always known gay people – and they were just, like, gay people! Just ordinary friends. People that you knew, and that you never thought twice about. You didn’t think of them as being different, although looking back on my high school years, I think there were a lot of people in my high school – this is so many years ago; this is 50 years ago – who probably were gay and didn’t ever talk about it. As a matter of fact, one of the kids that I went to school with, an enormously popular guy – really funny, really wonderful – who was in my Latin class, wrote me before he passed away from AIDS to tell me that he had been gay and that he had contracted AIDS.
So, I mean, what was the moment when I said that it was time to stand up? Oh my god – it never occurred to me not to. These were friends of mine – people that I had worked with, people that I had danced with, people I had broken bread with my whole life – so it never occurred to me not to. You do what you do because there’s nothing else to do. There’s no other option.

But to stand up for people who were seen as pariahs – that was taboo then. Did you experience any backlash for supporting gay people at the time?
You know, I might have, but I was very well-protected in those days. I actually did not feel it. I remember the first big benefit that anyone had done for gay rights (“A Star Spangled Night for Rights” in 1977). I remember the poster, and it was at the Hollywood Bowl. Lily (Tomlin), Richard Pryor and Tom Waits were on the program, but nobody ever said LGBT then. That didn’t exist.
So that night, Tom Waits sang “Standin’ on the Corner” and then Richard Pryor came out and Richard Pryor started off great. I don’t even know if this is in your history books or anything, but he started off great and then worked himself up into a real frenzy as only he could. He said that the gay community had never supported civil rights and, “Where were you when we were riding and they were kicking us to the curb and we were being fire-hosed?” Then he said, “You all can kiss my rich, black ass!” and he stomped off the stage. And I had to follow him! I mean, I’m just stripping it bare, but imagine what happened. So I went out and said, “You all can kiss my rich, white ass,” and of course then everything was much better, but it was such a curious evening.
I think Stonewall, in the middle ’60s, was the first time (the gay community) fought back, but, you know, in history everyone says “I was there.” I mean, if I had a nickel for everybody that said they saw me at the baths, I would be Joe Billionaire by now! I would be playing at Madison Square Garden instead of a rickety-tickety little bathhouse on 73rd Street! OK, let’s move on. I really do think that this big fundraiser in the late ’70s was a little shot across the bow too, and then not long after that, in the middle ’80s, AIDS came down and it was so horrible and, even though he knew so many gay people, Ronald Reagan did nothing. Nothing!

Right – he wouldn’t even publicly acknowledge it was an issue until years later. And hey, Bette, I don’t mean to cut you off, but we’re on a time limit.
Oh! I’m sorry. I’m waxing poetic. Anyway, enough about you; let’s talk about me.

If a gay fan approaches you, which of your projects would they most likely mention?
You wanna know the truth? Hocus Pocus. Honestly, I cannot believe what happened with Hocus Pocus. I’m just dumbfounded by the number of people who mention Hocus Pocus – and they’re young people!

Was your Halloween costume from this year – when you went as your Hocus Pocus character, Winifred Sanderson – the closest we’ll ever get to a sequel?
I tell them all you must write the Walt Disney Company because I don’t have anything to say about it – but they do!

But you’d be up for it?
Oh yeah. The girls and I have talked about it, and we all laugh and say, “Yeah, we’ll wait for that phone call.” But sure, we would all do it. We had a wonderful time.

It’s the Girls! celebrates and honors female performers who branded a very particular image. I mean, they definitely were not twerking.
Ugh. I don’t know what to tell you. I just saw that Jennifer Lopez video with Iggy Azalea – “Booty booty booty...” – and oh, girls, please! What can you say? Girls... please.

How do you compare the girl groups from the era you’re channeling to what you’re seeing now?
It was a really wholesome era in retrospect. It was sexy, but it was not blatant. It was intriguing and it was mysterious because it wasn’t flat out in your face. It was also supremely elegant. You know, I talk about this with my girlfriend Toni Basil, another gay icon: Those voices, the black voices, were not familiar to white ears. They simply never heard those voices singing harmony before. You never really heard those really strong, vibrant black girls singing until The Shirelles, The Crystals, The Chiffons, and then the Motown girls, and the girls who came after: Sister Sledge, The Emotions and down the line. The Honeycombs? Is there a group called The Honeycombs? I personally wanted to cover (The Weather Girls’) “Two Tons o’ Fun” but everyone said, “No, no, you can’t cut that,” so I didn’t.

You cover TLC’s ’90s pop hit “Waterfalls,” which famously dealt with HIV/AIDS and safe sex. What significance does that song have for you?
The first time I heard it I was really struck by it because it seemed like such an important song. To me, it was one of the saddest songs I’d ever heard on pop radio. So, I wanted to do a stripped-down version of it because I really wanted the story to be clear. I had thought about it for a long time, and when I first heard it, I was so moved by it. I shed a tear myself, and I always use that as a kind of litmus test. If it really moves me, I can bring something to it; I can make it my own.

What about the song in particular hit you? Did you know the original song was inspired by the AIDS-stricken and promoted safe sex?
I do remember that, but it was a dance song. It was for the dance halls. It was for the discos, and yet it really is a song about the mother who can’t do anything, who’s completely helpless in the face of this. I felt that, and that’s the way I wanted to interpret it. I think it worked out wonderfully.

You’ve been a self-proclaimed diva. In fact, your 1997 HBO special was called Diva Las Vegas, and during your Las Vegas spectacle at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace, The Showgirl Must Go On, you said you were the “People’s Diva.” At this point, has the meaning of the word “diva” changed so much that you no longer identify with it?
It’s a word that is just so overused that it’s really lost all currency. It no longer has any meaning at all. Any old slob on the Internet can say, “Well, I’m a ‘diva,’” and have some people believing it, but not me. In the old, old, old, old days – you know, during the Civil War when I was just a child – it meant “the star.” It was an opera term, and it meant a female opera singer who really could carry the whole opera, and it has been so degraded now. It’s a shame because it really was a wonderful word.

What does “diva” mean to you now?
It means nothing. It has absolutely no meaning at all. “Divine” still has meaning because there’s still a church, but “diva” has absolutely no meaning at all.

When you hit the road for your first tour in 10 years, how many wigs are you bringing along with you?
Oh my god – I have a truck! I have a whole truck. Well, Cher always does. Cher has 55 wigs; why can’t I? To tell you the truth, I have been wearing wigs since, let’s see, the very, very old days. Since I first started making motion pictures – movies! – I’ve always worn wigs. Always, always, always. It really does spare you. It really is a time-saver, and I really enjoy them. And I love makeup and hair. I just love it, love it, love it! I love becoming somebody that I’m not. As they used to say about Mae West: “A little old lady used to come in onto the set and go into the trailer, and four hours later Mae West would come out.” It’s really kind of like that.

A lot of drag queens would agree with you and Mae. What advice do you have for a guy who wants to dress in Bette drag?
A good pair of shoes – a really good pair of shoes – because you’ll really hurt yourself. You’ll hurt your joints. And a serious undergarment. And if your panties fall down all around your feet, step out of them and keep on singing.

That’s good advice even if you’re not a drag queen.
(Laughs) Well, I’ve been accused of (being a drag queen) many times! But I take it with a grain of salt. To me, it’s a supreme compliment.

Any chance you’ll revisit songs by The Sanderson Sisters or the ladies of The First Wives Club? They are, after all, girl groups.
I really do have to think about this. If I go out around Halloween, I’ll have to put some effort into it. I’ve got some surprises up my sleeve.

You mentioned Mae West, and it was announced in late 2013 that you were cast as Mae in an upcoming HBO biopic. How’s that project coming along?
I’ll tell you something: The script just came in, but I haven’t seen it. I’m waiting for the director, Billy Friedkin (director of The Exorcist), to make his notes, and then he’s gonna hand it off to me and we’ll see what happens.
I’m really looking forward to it because I’ve been reading and doing my due diligence. She’s such a fabulous – she’s so fucking nuts! I mean, she was so insane. And you know, when I started my career all those many moons ago, I used to do an impersonation of Mae West, and I did it on The Johnny Carson Show – my very first Johnny Carson Show – and she sent me a letter telling me to cease and desist, which I swear to god I still have.
I didn’t understand it at the time. I thought, “What’s wrong with her?” Now that I’ve done all the reading and am of a certain age, I totally get it. She was protecting what she had made. She was protecting her creation. That was practically a trademark and she didn’t want anyone to mishandle her creation. Ultimately, she was right. So I bowed to her wishes; I ceased and desisted. And I think it’s so amusing. (Laughs) After all that, if the script actually comes to the point of doing it, it certainly would be revenge. Take that, Mae!

Holiday time may seem like an ideal opportunity to come out to your family – everybody’s in one place at one time and there’s less chance for an individual meltdown in a large group setting – but there are many other variables that should be considered. Coming out isn’t just about you, after all. Your friends and family – because they care about you – are emotionally invested in this matter too, and it’s important to keep that in mind when deciding when to come out. For that reason – and nine others – unloading your burden around the holiday table isn’t the best idea you’ll ever have.

1. The Focus Should Be on Togetherness, Not Divisiveness
Even if you think your parents will take the revelation that you’re LGBT in stride and process it responsibly, you can never really be sure how someone else will react. And it’s not just your parents to whom you’re coming out on a holiday; you’ve got a whole house full of people – siblings, aunts and uncles, and grandparents – who will be part of this event. How will they handle it? How will their reaction affect others’? You can’t be sure, which is why, at least for the day that you’re spending in celebration together, you should keep the secret under wraps. The varied reaction to your news could pit family member against family member, and that’s no way to end an otherwise pleasant gathering.

2. It Can Be Very Awkward for Extended Family and Other Guests
While many people present at holiday time will have an emotional involvement in your coming out, not everyone around will be family. Some guests may be friends or neighbors or just acquaintances who have been invited to share in the joint holiday experience. For these folks, your coming out could turn what was supposed to be a benign and jovial occasion into an awkward situation that they can’t escape from fast enough. Keep in mind, too, that if these aren’t your guests, they’re somebody else’s, and you run the risk of embarrassing that person due to your ill-timed and disrespectful disclosure.

3. You May Not Have Anywhere Else to Go If It Doesn’t Turn Out Well
It’s every LGBT person’s worst fear that those who are supposed to love you unconditionally simply do not. Thus, as a result of coming out on a holiday, you could be asked to leave the house – which could put you in a bind if the house in which you’re staying is your only accommodations for this period of time. College students, in particular, should be mindful of this consequence to avoid being shut out in the cold weather typically associated with the Thanksgiving to New Year span.

4. Your Usually Supportive Social Circle Is Otherwise Engaged
You’ll want to talk about what happened when you came out to your family to those who know you best – your friends – but they’ll be celebrating the holidays with their own families and may not be available. This isn’t the end of the world if your coming out went smoothly, but if it didn’t go over so well and you need a shoulder to cry on or a supportive ear that will listen, you could be out of luck. This is a potentially dangerous situation, especially if you start feeling like nobody loves you and you have nowhere else to turn. This is not the truth, of course – although it may feel like it at the time – but it can lead to harmful behaviors that can be avoided at a time when you know someone will be there for you.

5. It May Be Offensive to Others Celebrating a Holy Day
You may not be religious, but others are – and for those people, a religious holiday is a very important and sacred time in their lives. Notwithstanding what most religions already say about homosexuality (you already have a good idea where this discussion is headed before you even start it), it’s just not good form to actively pursue a controversial conversation when the people you love are recognizing a holy day. Be considerate and wait until the day of observation has passed.

6. There’s Not Enough Time to Have a Serious Discussion
When you come out – no matter the outcome – the people in whom you’ve just confided will generally want to discuss the matter further. Just like it’s not appropriate for them to monopolize the conversation when you have it, it’s also not appropriate for you to come out at a time that you know is not conducive to discussion just so you can avoid it.

7. It’s Selfish to Turn Family Time Into the ‘Me Show’
Your family members didn’t travel far and wide to celebrate the holidays dealing with the aftermath of your coming out. Your decision is personal and serious and special even, and it should be handled as such. If you’d like them to respect you as an LGBT person, you should respect them as people who just want to stuff their faces with turkey and watch a few football games without a live episode of Dr. Phil taking place in the living room.

8. It’s Not Fair to Drop a Bomb and Leave Soon After
Just like you shouldn’t bring up the subject when you know there isn’t ample time to discuss your sexuality, you shouldn’t come out and leave shortly after. This is a cowardly way of dealing with this issue that will not go away and could become worse if you treat other people poorly during the process. You should be present and available and open when you come out, and if you’re in a hurry – like many of us are on holidays – it isn’t the right moment.

9. It’s an Already High-Stress Time of Year
The holidays wear us all a little thin, which increases our stress level and heightens our agitation. Do you really want to come out to someone who’s already annoyed that the guests were late, the ham is dry and nobody offered to wash the dishes after the meal? Not unless you have a death wish, you don’t. Do yourself a favor and wait for a time when those to whom you’re about to come out are relaxed and in a good place to have a reasonable and rational conversation and give you their undivided attention. Otherwise, you’re asking for trouble that you can potentially avoid, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t.

J.P. Licari laced up his first pair of figure skates at age 6. He loved the movement, the ice, the competition – everything about the sport. He rose as high as number four in the U.S. rankings. In 1984, he missed qualifying for the Olympic team by just one point.

But unless you’re an Olympic star, it’s tough to make money as a figure skater. When his father got sick, Licari realized he could no longer ask his parents to support him. He turned pro, with Disney on Ice.

The Connecticut native spent nearly 12 years as a principal skater. He toured the United States, and during eight months in Japan helped open Tokyo Disneyland. He traveled to Malaysia, Australia, New Zealand and throughout Europe.

But after falling 10-and-a-half feet onto his tailbone, Licari had to leave the show.

He had been out of the closet for years. But, he says – despite the stereotype – many gay men in elite figure skating remain closeted. The Brian Boitanos and Johnny Weirs are few and far between. 

That, Licari says, is why the Gay Games are so great. “You can be yourself. You can do whatever you want. There’s every sport you can think of – even ballroom dancing.”

After leaving Disney, Licari competed in the 1994 Gay Games. He skated to music dedicated to his partner, recently diagnosed as HIV-positive. A hush fell over the crowd. When his routine ended, they went wild.

He won the men’s competition at Level 4, the second highest. (Matthew Hall – one of the first out athletes ever – captured Level 5.)

“To do all that in front of a packed arena was a bit scary at first,” Licari admits. But it was special, because his parents were part of that audience. It was their first time ever at “that type of event.”

After his routine, Licari found his father, mother and partner. He gave his father the winner’s bouquet of roses. His dad threw his arms around Licari and said, “I’m so proud of you.” 

Licari had never officially come out to his parents. But they knew – they’d visited him and his partner at their Sacramento home. The couple was among the first 25 to register as domestic partners, when that became legal in California.

“It was so comforting to have my parents there in New York,” Licari says. “A lot of parents are not there for their kids. Mine were front and center.” 

Back in California, Licari joined the Imperial Court. He ran for grand duke and promised to organize an AIDS on Ice fundraiser. Licari pulled in favors from many skaters he knew. They rehearsed for a month, put on four shows and raised $30,000. That was the start of a year-long charity drive for children with HIV.

Licari moved to Tampa, where he skated at Busch Gardens for three years. Then it was on to Disney World, where he spent the next decade. “They have a very big gay clientele,” he notes. On Gay Day, he turned the corner during a Main Street parade and saw “hundreds and hundreds” of same-sex couples.

After his father died, Licari returned to Connecticut. He participated in his second Gay Games in 2006 – as a bowler.

“You can’t skate forever,” he says. He made it to the medal round in Chicago, where he lost by one pin.

A gay bowling league had filled a void, after he gave up skating. Competitive bowling is even harder and more stressful than skating, he says, because the events last longer. 

The Chicago Gay Games were great fun. They’re a place to “meet old friends, make new ones, and see people from all around the world.”

He skipped the 2010 Gay Games in Cologne. But last month, Licari was back in action, in Cleveland.

The opening ceremony – in the same arena used by the NBA’s Cavaliers – was “amazing.” Thousands of athletes strode in, Olympic-style, and were announced by state and country. Greg Louganis, Lance Bass and the Pointer Sisters performed.

Continuing his close calls, Licari failed to qualify for the singles cutoff by one pin. He finished seventh. He was 20th in doubles, and seventh in team event.

“I missed the 1984 Olympic team,” he says, 30 years later. “So now this is my thing. Everyone is so warm and welcoming. Every restaurant, every shop had a rainbow flag in the window. When the mayor spoke, he talked about what a thrill and an honor it is for Cleveland to host this.”

Licari was also impressed with little things: an 80-year-old man running for AIDS awareness. LGBT athletes in wheelchairs. A restaurant conversation with straight Clevelanders who told him how much they enjoyed the Gay Games.

“If you haven’t been to a Gay Games, you need to experience it,” he says, emphatically.

Which is why, four years from now, he’ll be heading to Paris.

It’s been more than 20 years since Melissa Etheridge, after declaring herself a lesbian at an inaugural ball for President Clinton, came out on record. Released in 1993, the artist’s benchmark album, Yes I Am, would signify a giant leap forward for the LGBT community – and, also, Etheridge’s career.
The landmark LP, her mainstream breakthrough, came before Ellen, before “Will & Grace,” before Laverne Cox graced the cover of TIME. Putting her career on the line, Etheridge still stood like a pillar of hope, valiance and torch-carrying fortitude. And it wouldn’t be the last time.
Taking another shot in the dark with This Is M.E., a DIY disc released on Etheridge’s own label, M.E. Records, the 53-year-old goes independent for the first time since signing with Island Records in the mid ’80s.
Catching up with Etheridge one recent afternoon – she’s crunching on some granola, which is so very Melissa Etheridge-y of her – the rocker discusses how “flatlining” influenced her decision to go indie, why she stopped reading her own press and which hit she was “forced” to record.

The album is called This Is M.E., a play on your initials. But how about nicknames – do you have any of those?
I don’t. I pretty much answer to whatever anybody calls me. (Laughs)

Especially if that person is Linda Wallem, your wife.
Exactly. “Yes, dear!”

To quote one of your songs, was the process of making this album like “the letting go”?
That was exactly it. Thank you so much for seeing that, because last year I did cut all the strings. All of them – every single one. I gutted my whole team that I had behind me for 20-plus years. I just said, “Look, it’s time. I need a new model. I need a new way of doing this.” I completely flatlined and had no interest in just business as usual. In doing so, I went and talked with and interviewed a bunch of managers, record companies, lawyers, agents and dozens of people, and I found out a lot about me in doing so. I got a new view of what other people in the business think about me and my business and (learned that) I don’t need those old structures anymore. Because of the new technology, I can reach my fans. I have a fan base, I have social media, I can let every single one of them know. I can sell just as many records as I had been selling with a record company, and I can own my record. I could take charge of this, and I don’t have to answer to a record company.

Was it something you regretted not doing sooner? Because I bet you wished you owned the rights to “Come to My Window.”
Absolutely. You have to just look ahead, though. You can’t look back and go, “Ah, all those songs!” That’s just the way it is.

What’s the best part about being your own boss?
The responsibility. There’s no one I can blame. I have to believe in every single one of these songs. In the studio, working with each of these producers and musicians, I was taking full responsibility for every single note on this album.

Had you been feeling a lack of support from your label?
Oh yeah. From Lucky in 2004 and on, the record industry was, every year, falling in huge amounts and getting less and less, and also, those albums were not incredibly commercial albums because they were introspective. I was investigating myself and my own spirit and thoughts, and so those albums weren’t gonna be big commercial hits, so they didn’t get a lot of attention.

On Lucky, with the song “Meet Me in the Dark,” you actually addressed this sense of abandonment you were feeling at the time regarding the label’s lack of support. Isn’t that right?
Exactly – I did. I sat down and said, “I’m gonna write this song for those people who listen to albums to find that song that’s just special.”

Was it then that you first started thinking of career alternatives?
Yeah, indeed.

What kind of pressure were you experiencing from the label? At the time, were they forcing you to make radio hits?
(Pauses) Well, there’s only so much you can do with me. I am what I am, and I know that on Lucky the song “Breathe” was not my song at all. That was one that the record company came to me and said, “Look, we think this could be a hit.” I did something that I will never do again. I like the song – it’s a great song – but I really felt like I was doing something I didn’t wanna do. I got cancer afterwards and went, “Never again.”

At this moment in your career, you’re really embracing solitude.
Yes, I am.

How have all these changes reshaped how you approach music and how you approached this album?
It’s reinvigorated my love for the industry and the art form beyond just singing and performing, but actually with the writing and the producing and creating of these songs. My god, I think there are at least five different producers on this record and I worked with others that didn’t quite work out. I got to work with all kinds of people. I threw out to my management, “Think outside the box,” and that’s how I ended up with RoccStar and Jerry “Wonda.”

Is it easier to write with a broken heart or a happy heart?
Well, it’s not easy to write in any situation, but it depends. I think one has to learn how to make any personal state a state that one can create from. I can write “Who Are You Waiting For” – which is both. Yeah, I was brokenhearted and smashed and lifted up, so I can create from both. I can create from an old memory of, “You done me wrong,” and write “Ain’t That Bad.” That’s the craft of writing. You give me even a mundane subject and I will craft a human experience around it.

Tell me the story behind the first song you wrote for the album.
There are two. I wrote them by myself before I brought them to a producer and those were “Who Are You Waiting For” and “A Little Hard Hearted.” For those two, I sat down the way I normally do: I actually sat down at the piano because I like writing on the piano; it brings out different musical things than if I write on the guitar. So “A Little Hard Hearted” was actually more of a ballad than it ended up being. But yeah, that was one of the first ones. It was like, “I don’t wanna be broken any more. I wanna move on,” which is what we’ve done. With (ex-wife) Tammy (Lynn Michaels), both of us have worked really hard to put all the crap behind us and just be two loving households that can work together for the kids.

How did you deal with the tabloids that pitted you two against each other?
I just didn’t go online for a couple of years! (Laughs) I don’t look at that stuff because it’s this sense of, I have no control over what people are thinking. I know what my truth is and there’s no way I can convince other people of it. They’re gonna believe whatever they believe, and I just have to move on through this. Time will always tell, and the truth always comes out, so I’m just gonna be the best person I can be and move on. I could get stuck in that. And that’s like a whirlpool. That’ll just suck you right down into it.

Have you ever read your own press? Googled “Melissa Etheridge”?
Oh, sure. Eight times out of 10, it’s a pleasant experience. Other times it’s, “I didn’t need to see that.”

Having spent so much of your life on stage – how has that changed for you? How is getting out on stage different now than it was when you first got out there?
I’m different. I mean, I’ve been on stage since I was 11 years old, so I went through a lot of being on stage when no one knows who you are, being on stage when you’re singing other people’s music, being on stage when no one’s paying attention – I know that.
I also know the wonderful feeling of being on stage when people are expecting something. I was always thrilled when I walked on stage and someone paid money to come see me. Now when I walk on stage, I haven’t even sung a note and people are going crazy. That’s just ... that’s a dream come true. To start a song and people know it – I love it, love it, love it.

Was that something you imagined for yourself as a kid? Are you the artist you set out to be?
Yeah, I knew that I wanted to be a singer/songwriter. I knew that I wanted to write the songs too – that it was important that that be a part of what I do – so I’m very happy that when I start these songs that I’ve written, people know that. So yes, I am.

Knowing all you know about yourself now, what would you tell the Melissa Etheridge of the ’80s?
“Hey, you can relax. Don’t worry. Don’t get all worked up about it, because it’s all right – you’re gonna make it.”
The best part of the whole thing is the journey – it’s actually the getting there, not the being there. It’s who I met in the process, and the memories. Just the whole experience is what it’s about, and I’m so grateful for it.

As one of the first out public figures, what’s your proudest moment as a gay icon?
It’s when a teenager or a successful 27-year-old will come up to me and say, “Thank you. You saved my life. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve never come out and been able to live the life I’ve lived.” And what can I say? That’s worth everything.
Every single person who makes that choice to stand up and present him- or herself in life as who they are – every single time one person does that – it changes the world. It goes out and it changes others, and if they’re doing it in public and living their truth – I mean, come on, Ellen and Michael Sam! – they change the world.

What do you want your legacy to be?
I would love for it to be, “Hey, that Melissa Etheridge, she just changed the world a little bit.” That maybe – because I was here – life was great for some other folks, you know? That’d be nice.

Which song of yours will likely be played at your funeral?
(Sings creepily) “Coooome to my windoooow.” (Laughs) I really haven’t thought about it. That’s one thought I haven’t thought about! I’ll leave that up to you guys, OK?

In 2002, you released your memoir The Truth Is...: My Life in Love and Music. Would you consider writing another?
Oh yeah. That one was just the first third of my life. I have much more to write about. Life happens so quickly that I haven’t even jotted anything down, but I think about it all the time. The next book I’m gonna write, I will have sat down and taken a large chunk of time to write it because I think it deserves that.

What would you call this second book?
Something like, The Truth Changes, Because it does! With my mother and my sister, I certainly don’t hold the same sort of angst that I used to at all. That’s so far away from me. I can look back and tell a story that I told and I look at it a little differently now, because I’ve learned more things and I’m a different person.