Cameron Diaz: The Real Thing
- June 28, 2014 - 11:08am
Cameron Diaz is all about breaking the rules ... especially when someone else is breaking them too. Strutting into a room at the Four Seasons at Beverly Hills, the actress surveys the space and lugs an oversized sofa chair to the opposite corner where she gets comfortable, her slender legs curled behind her, heels still on.
In person, Diaz really is the sweetest thing, but don’t cross her. At least not in The Other Woman, where the actress, along with Leslie Mann and Kate Upton, serves some nasty shenanigans to a lover she learns is secretly married. (And because you need that sassy colleague to give you sage advice on getting even, Nicki Minaj co-stars.)
For this gay press exclusive, the actress recalls the faux lesbian action on the set of The Other Woman, clarifies statements she made regarding her sexuality (don’t call her bisexual), and advises the ladies to “step it up a little bit.”
Recently I was at the gay club and they played that unforgettable sing-along from The Sweetest Thing: “The Penis Song.”
No way! That’s so awesome.
When you did that song with Selma Blair and Christina Applegate in 2002, did you ever think the gays would still be dancing to a song about penises this many years later?
Not at all, but I guess we should have figured! We should’ve guessed that. It’s quite obvious.
Because the penis is timeless.
(Laughs) Exactly. The penis is timeless.
Because of its girl-power fierceness, The Other Woman aligns itself with Nine to Five, Sex and the City and The First Wives Club. Why do you think gay men in particular are so drawn to these movies?
These women are underdogs. In Nine to Five it was really about discrimination. Gays and lesbians know what it’s like to be discriminated against, to be the underdog and to have to fight to be seen. That’s something that could be relatable. It’s that feeling of beating all the odds and pushing through, and continuing to go on even though you get beat down and you feel like you can’t possibly make it through.
Going back, what movie of yours do you attribute to the beginning of your gay following?
I don’t know!
How about Being John Malkovich from 1999?
Because Lotte! I mean, of course! Lotte found out who she was. She was self-realized and empowered by it, and that’s what I really loved about her – her recognizing herself and honoring herself, and no matter what she just kept going until she was able to fully express herself.
Actually, Lotte sounds a lot like you. In the last few years you’ve been expressing your own sexuality with honesty and openness, saying in interviews with Glamour UK and Playboy that just because you’re sexually attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. The Kinsey Scale actually suggests that everyone is a little bisexual. Is that what you believe too?
What I really think is a problem is that for some reason everybody needs to label. There needs to be a label for something, and you have to qualify it with a label. If we didn’t put these labels on ourselves, I think we would probably live in a much better society. We would just let people be who they are and we wouldn’t have to define them.
Over the years I’ve known people who are male who love women, who want to be in a relationship with a woman, who want to raise a family with a woman, who have that relationship and that’s where they want to put their energy – but they also are sexually attracted to men. And just because someone’s sexually attracted to a man he has to choose whether he wants to be with a woman or a man, and vice versa with women. Women may want to have a relationship with a man, and to raise a family with him, but may also be sexually attracted to women.
Because we have to label it, because we make people choose who they want to be, people aren’t happy. They’re ruining relationships and friendships and marriages, and they’re feeling like they can’t have all sides of themselves. They feel like they have to choose. If we just allowed people to be themselves and to be open to it and not have to be absolute one way or another, life could be really full.
This view of sexuality seems to be a recent trend, and now people often refer to themselves as “queer” because it’s more indefinable.
Right, right. But does sexuality really define a person? Who you’re sexually attracted to – does that define you as a person? It’s just a part of who you are. Does who you love define who you are? It doesn’t. We need to see ourselves in the full spectrum of the human being.
Since making these statements about your own sexuality, people have tried putting you in a box.
Yeah.
The press is saying, “Cameron Diaz is bisexual.” But it sounds like you don’t want to put yourself in that box?
I don’t. People get uncomfortable (when you don’t). I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but it’s a beautiful thing that we can appreciate beauty in other women. I think that’s amazing. If they’re confident in themselves and know who they are, heterosexual men can look at another heterosexual man and go, “Yeah, he’s pretty hot. He’s a sexy man.”
And you have said you can do the same with the ladies.
Of course.
Could you see yourself in a relationship with a woman, though?
That’s not at all what I said. That’s not what I was saying. That’s what people are (saying). What I’m saying is that I can appreciate the beauty of another woman. I’ve said this forever: I think women’s bodies are beautiful – all shapes, all sizes. Every part of a woman is beautiful and that’s something that we’ve celebrated culturally throughout history.
And men, as well. I mean, how about those Greek gods?
Exactly. Greek gods! You go to Florence and you see da Vinci and you go, “Oh, of course – this is a celebration of the body.” So, I feel like saying that is just stating something that’s obvious. People get weirded out when you bring in sexuality, when you say “sex,” when you say you find someone else sexually attractive – because people feel like they can’t control that! That if for someone reason they find somebody sexually attractive they’re going to lose all control of themselves and they’re going to question themselves and not know what it is. It’s not black or white. There is a spectrum.
If a lesbian were to stop you on the street and reference one of your movies, which scene do you think they would point to? I mean, you fucked a Ferrari – that, I’m sure, was enjoyed by many a lesbian.
Yeah, that’s always a good time. (Laughs) But I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. I’ve played so many different characters, and I don’t want to just generalize that all lesbians like the same kind of woman (smiles and points to herself). And there’s a lot to choose from! Everybody has different “preferences.” (Laughs)
Your girl crush in 2006 was Pamela Anderson. Have your tastes changed at all?
Who do I have a girl crush on?
Leslie Mann?
Leslie is just seriously one of the loveliest human beings. But I don’t know right now if I have a girl crush! I haven’t taken a second to look around because I’ve been working so much. Honestly, I think the girls need to step it up a little bit. I’m disillusioned with all the Botox and all the filler and all the fakeness. I really love a natural beauty, something that you can celebrate.
Diane Keaton, Annie Lennox and Annette Bening are all aging naturally.
They are, because they’re self-possessed.
So, as you age, you’re not interested in plastic surgery?
No. It can be done well, but what I see with the women who do a lot of it is, the objective is to look younger, but they just start to look different. They don’t necessarily look younger, but they do look different. I don’t think that I would ever want to look different. I don’t know if I could look into the mirror and be OK with seeing somebody other than myself.
The idea of being a cartoon version of yourself isn’t appealing?
I did a little bit (of plastic surgery). I tried it out, and that’s what disturbed me. I didn’t look like myself. It scared me. I didn’t look younger. I just looked different.
If you could team up with two of your gay friends to get back at a man who wronged you, a la The Other Woman, whom would you pick as your gay sidekicks?
Oh my god, for sure my friend Brad (Cafarelli). He’s my publicist and would be perfect because he’s so clever and stealthy. He’s just super keen. He doesn’t miss a detail. And he sees it all! I want him on my side for anything. And he’s hot. I would also say Teddy (Bass), my trainer, who is just fearless and could crawl into any space and get anything done.
According to your co-star Kate Upton, there was some lesbian action happening behind the scenes of The Other Woman.
(Laughs) What did she say?
That there was a lot of butt pinching.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!
Feel free to elaborate.
We actually just did a very funny AOL “Unscripted” thing that just went off the rails. It was so funny.
Was it lesbianic?
Yeah, totally. Like, full-on hilarity. But yeah, (what happened behind the scenes) wasn’t lesbian as in making fun of. It was putting it in a way that, you know, it’s...
It’s playful?
It’s playful, exactly. Thank you. Totally playful. But Leslie (Mann) has this thing with butts, and it’s because she has daughters. As a mom she’s all like “goochy goochy goo,” “squeezy, squeezy, squeezy” and she’s always pinching their tooshies. So Kate and I, when her kids weren’t around, we got all the “squeeshy, squeeshy, squeeshy” and all the pinching and all the grabbing. (Laughs)
So that’s as lesbian as it got?
It’s more like mom nurturing. It’s more like mom-ing. And, you know, some lesbians might find “mom-ing” really hot!
HEAR ME OUT: Miranda Lambert, Coldplay
- June 26, 2014 - 12:25pm
Miranda Lambert, Platinum
While Miranda Lambert’s restless peers stray from the purity of the country genre to achieve mainstream acclaim, the Nashville Star alum has been widely popularized by sticking to her guns. She’s known for slipping one in her back pocket should she need to pop an abusive lover (“Gunpowder & Lead,” from 2007’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend), but what’s more, Lambert’s not leaving the house that built her. At least any time soon, as demonstrated by yet another feather in her cowgirl hat with the irresistibly witty, hit-heavy Platinum. Writing with Music City mainstays like Shane McAnally and Brandy Clark, both openly gay, Dolly Parton’s buoyant campiness comes to mind as Lambert drops some wickedly good wisecracks (the title track delivers this winner: “What doesn’t kill makes you blonder”). “Two Rings Shy” is also reminiscent of Parton, who you’d imagine living for a line like, “I ain’t wastin’ good mascara, just to watch it running down.” “Gravity’s a Bitch” bemoans aging with biting humor, “Babies Makin’ Babies” lives up to its name, and “Little Red Wagon” rocks a “backyard swagger.” It’s always been Lambert’s gun-toting badassery that makes her unexpectedly sentimental heart – from which she sings during the sweet love ballad “Holding on to You” – all the more powerful.
Grade: A-
Coldplay, Ghost Stories
What do you do when the stars you used to sing about burn out? When the yellow turns to black? When the fixer needs some fixing? If you’re Coldplay, you tell Ghost Stories. And you tell those tales like you have for the last two decades: with the dysphoria of a lost puppy. Inspired by frontman Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling” from Gwyneth Paltrow, and following the light-hearted arena venture that made Mylo Xyloto a forced flounder, the band takes a less commercial approach with this nine-song eulogy. It’s quieter, more ethereal, there’s no Rihanna, but in backtracking to their pre-pop genesis, they forgot the reason the world fell in love with them in the first place: emotional resonance. With few exceptions, their sonic interpretations of desolation and heartache – though pretty and wistful, like soaring angels – disappear into the same cosmos they inhabit. The piano-led “O” is a dreamy coda as faceless as an actual dream, and “Midnight” works the Bon Iver-cum-vocoder effect – it’s surprisingly not bad. Almost lovely enough to forget how many times you’ve heard something like it, the Avicii-produced, synth-charged A Sky Full of Stars is an extension of Mylo. That it’s the only song you’re likely to remember says a lot about the forgettable Ghost Stories, a Coldplay album so pale you’ll have no choice but to consciously uncouple from it.
Grade: C
Also Out:
Robyn and Röyksopp, Do It Again
She’s doing it again – making you get all dance-y. With punched-up synths and a chorus that just about combusts, “Do It Again” owns the floor much like you will every time you hear Robyn sing it. But that single isn’t exactly indicative of the rest of her complex EP collaboration with Röyksopp, which begins and ends on less frenzied, more introspective notes. Its 10-minute fade-out calls back to the melancholy sprawl of “Monument,” during which Robyn gets reflective: “When the moment comes, I can say I did it all with love.” She can because it’s true.
Sharon Van Etten, Are We There
Affecting without any of that sentimental preciousness – one line reads: “I washed your dishes, but I shitted in your bathroom” – there’s a transparency to Sharon Van Etten’s latest that daringly exposes the visceral emotions of the end of a relationship. A stunningly sad truth-telling about two hearts that have grown apart, “I Love You But I’m Lost” cuts deep. “I Know,” too, is simple poignancy told potently. This fourth album from Van Etten is a work of soul-baring genius.
Deep Inside Hollywood: Father of the Bride, Glee, Maria Bello
- June 26, 2014 - 12:02pm
Father of the Bride goes gay
In the ’90s, the Father of the Bride movies were enormous hits for Steve Martin and Diane Keaton. And because everything old is new in Hollywood, here comes the gay-themed sequel, in which curmudgeonly George (Martin) has to deal with his own prejudices when his grandson Matty (originally played by Kieran Culkin, no word yet on who’ll take the role now) comes out as gay with plans to wed the son of a former Navy SEAL. So, yes, good-ish news, maybe, provided Martin – currently in negotiations to star – comes back with Keaton and the jokes aren’t mired in decades-old stereotypes and tired ideas of “gay” as a monolithic, one-size-fits-all set of personality and style traits and… oh wait, this is going to be a mainstream family comedy for an audience that would just as soon sit home and watch Mike & Molly. We almost forgot. OK, this whole thing is doomed. Just please tell us that writer-director Charles Shyer has the 21st century good sense to at least change the title to Father of the Groom. Please.
Two heads are better than one
Viewership is down a staggering 45 percent for Ryan Murphy’s Glee. Who knows why? New boring kids, perhaps? Increasingly nonsensical stories? NO CHARACTERS WITH TWO HEADS? We will pick the last option as the reason, because it’s that delicious concept that is giving us life as we contemplate our crush on Ryan Murphy’s newer, shinier, TV toy, American Horror Story, and its groovy lesbian star Sarah Paulson. Sarah will be playing the characters Bette and Dot in the upcoming American Horror Story: Freak Show. Bette and Dot share a body with two heads. Sarah tweeted a picture of this character(s) recently. The Internet sang a glorious song of two-headed praise when she did that. Now all that’s left is to wait for it to show up in front of our eyes. Sorry, Glee, you could have done this instead of putting Darren Criss in dumber and dumber bow ties. But you didn’t.
Maria Bello will battle the Demonic and probably win
Maria Bello’s “coming out,” if you can even call the piece she wrote about her family in the New York Times a coming out story, was so low key that we sometimes forget she did it (for the record, that family includes her son, her son’s father, who is Bello’s ex-boyfriend, and her longtime girlfriend/best friend). But do it she did, pushing the entertainment business’s lesbian population past that of most mid-size American cities. And she’s busy – busier than ever, in fact, with multiple projects in the pipeline, including the Kevin Costner-starring inspirational sports drama McFarland, as well as the just-announced, big-budget, Max Steel, about a kid with special powers and an even special-er creature friend. But it’s the creatures she’ll encounter in Demonic that seem coolest – because they will be satanic ghosts that kill people. Bello will play a psychologist in the latest from James Wan (Insidious, The Conjuring) who will, just guessing, probably say it’s all in the mind of the victims who find themselves tormented by the unseen evil. And then her fancy doctor’s office will rain down blood or something. Again, these are just guesses. But if Bello’s in it, we’re watching it. We made that pact with her career as soon as we saw Coyote Ugly. And we never looked back.
Andrej Pejic dives into Sofia Coppola’s Little Mermaid
Andrej Pejić, the Australian model who has described herself as living between genders and who has stated a preference for female pronouns, has made a name for herself in the modeling world by walking in both men’s and women’s shows and for, well, being 6-foot-2, skinny, gorgeous and knowing how to work the garment. Now Pejić will hit the big screen in Sofia Coppola’s live-action version of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. She’ll play one of Ariel’s sisters, though there’s no word on how big a role that will be. If you need some confirmation that she can slink around on camera, just watch the David Bowie video for "The Stars (Are Out Tonight)" in which she appears alongside Tilda Swinton. Obviously that doesn’t equal acting ability, but who cares? She’ll stun in that mermaid costume, there’s no denying that.
HEAR ME OUT: Mariah Carey
- June 26, 2014 - 11:49am
With the glorious powerhouse “Vanishing,” off her star-making 1990 debut, Mariah Carey couldn’t have known she’d be foreshadowing another release some 25 years later. “If I could recapture all of the memories, bring them to life,” Carey sang, with all the fierceness of a diva-in-the-making, “surely I would.”
Two-plus decades, one messy breakdown and 13 albums later, she has.
Insanely titled but undeniably a vision of love, Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse (grade: A-), her oft-delayed, punctuation-zealous 14th release, revels in those memories and throws back to her ’90s pinnacle, when The Voice was front and center, when Glitter wasn’t a career punchline.
Encompassing the vintage timelessness that carried her to notoriety, while also staying true to her urban evolution, Mariah’s found her sweet spot on The Elusive Chanteuse, turning out an accomplished body of work – her best since 1997’s Butterfly. Listen to it in succession, because it’s also her most cohesive set since then. These ditties, however, are the ones that’ll have you feelin’ major emotions:
‘Cry.’
Remember those curls? The all-black attire? A piano and little else? Singing like it’s 1990 again on this stunning lead-in, you can almost see her: It’s Mariah, alone and fully clothed atop a stool, pouring her heart out all over the stage – her hand, of course, flailing up and over and everywhere as the organ gusts into a soulful belter. And then, with that last bittersweet note, her head tilts back in a dramatic show of confidence. She just nailed it, and she knows it.
‘Dedicated’ (feat. Nas)
Talk about old-school – actually, Mariah will. And she’ll do so with bestie/collaborator Nas. Like they’re hanging in Mimi’s crib and having #TBT time over a bottle of Cristal, the two friends reminisce on days gone by (and on Pee-wee Herman) with this breezy R&B groove – you know, “just for the nostalgia.” Meta in the sense that it salutes the past on an album that essentially does the same, Carey’s serving up some serious late ’90s honey.
‘#Beautiful’ (feat. Miguel)
Released a year ago as the album’s first single, it’s a travesty that the sexy-chic ear-worm “#Beautiful” didn’t chart higher than No. 15 on the Billboard Hot 100. With a Motown-inspired guitar groove, its chill summer sensibility and the perfect pairing of Miguel with Mariah – exalting tingles as she goes from coo to croon – this should have been Carey’s 19th No. 1 single.
‘Make It Look Good’
Flow-y and unfussy, this swaying charmer is a sonic daydream. Stevie Wonder opens with a spirited harmonica solo, which follows Carey through the hook – a flirty chorus with a delicious “lips / hip / dip” rhyme. Note how effortless and relaxed she sounds. No longer as concerned with keeping up with girls half her age, it’s the most laid back Mariah’s been since The Emancipation of Mimi.
‘You Don’t Know What to Do’ (feat. Wale)
Stand back. Mariah’s at the mic, and she’s having a moment. Wale, who has the nerve to mumble over her aggressive “don’t mess with Mimi” intro, can’t even wreak havoc on her divadom. Rousing the cheerful airiness of her pop-dance staples – this potential hit triggers flashbacks of “Fantasy” with Ol’ Dirty Bastard – “You Don’t Know What to Do” is a rush of splashy panache that you’ll be bumping to the next time you lace up your roller skates.
‘Meteorite’
You just know Donna Summer is smiling down on this club-lite romp. Casting an ethereal dreaminess on ’70s dance, this Andy Warhol-inspired fame musing is as sparkly as the disco ball you’ll be losing yourself under. With a sample of Eddie Kendricks’ ’76 jam “Goin’ Up in Smoke,” Q-Tip arranges the dance-chic aura as Mariah targets celebrity culture – perhaps her own waggling career – with an ambitious-but-cautionary outlook.
‘One More Try’
She can’t live if living is without a sentimental showstopper, the kind she knows the “lambs” – her hardcore fans – love to loop until their eyes are completely wrung out. Enter George Michael. A wise cover choice for Carey, it assists in recapturing her classic sound. It does so by honoring Michael’s original while also supplementing it with a gospel tinge and those layered-vocal embellishments of hers. Ever wonder what it sounds like when a throng of angels sings to you? Listen to that bridge.
‘Heavenly (No Ways Tired / Can’t Give Up Now)’
Hop on Mimi’s butterfly wings for this gospel rouser – she takes you all the way to the heavens. Sampling an inspirational sermon given by Rev. James Cleveland (unusual, maybe, but it works), she eases into this empowerment credo – acknowledging that, yes, “it’s been a little rough” – that soars higher and higher. Escalating into a spiritual soul shaker with key climbs and whistle notes, this closer will have you bowing your head and hollering “amen.”
Deep Inside Hollywood: Magic Mike, How to Train Your Dragon, Desiree Akhavan
- June 26, 2014 - 11:33am
The Magic Mike sequel will aim to please
If you saw Steven Soderbergh’s Magic Mike you know that it was, at its core, a serious-minded film, a little bit about half-naked expression and a lot about downbeat economic recession. After the titillating marketing campaign you’d be forgiven (if you were a gay man or straight woman, at least) for feeling a little cheated out of the much-promised equal opportunity prurience at the multiplex. The sequel, however, Magic Mike XXL, is shaping up to be a little different. Channing Tatum is writing the screenplay – this makes sense; he began his career that way – and he plans to tell the story of the wilder, more aggressively sexual aspects of the job, specifically a Soderbergh-sanctioned, semi-autobiographical account of the time Tatum was “…in a dark U-Haul with a bunch of these guys and we’re doing drugs driving up to the stripper convention.” Soderbergh won’t direct, but he’ll be working as director of photography and editor. It also appears that a lot of the original film’s hot cast members will return. So gather your single bills and be ready to make it rain when XXL hits theaters in 2015.
How to Train Your Dragon 3. Yes, already.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 is only now hitting theaters but the animated feature is already receiving the kind of reviews usually reserved for prestige-level Pixar releases. So here comes the green-lighting of the next sequel, How To Train Your Dragon 3. This was probably inevitable; director Dean Deblois (Lilo & Stitch) reportedly had always imagined the Dragon story to be a trilogy. And when your project manages to hit that sweet spot of nearly unanimous acclaim, goodwill and fan support while successfully franchising and creating merchandizing opportunities and TV spinoffs and managing to avoid the troublesome trap of media saturation and burnout (see: Frozen), there’s no reason not to keep digging in that garden. The plan right now is a 2016 release date with main voice actor Jay Baruchel already on board. Other returning cast will no doubt follow. Big question, though, for the bearish Deblois: now that Part 2 has given us the first animated gay Viking, what will happen to him in Part 3? The world awaits an answer.
Roland Emmerich forever
Hey, remember Independence Day? Sure you do. It was one of the biggest box-office successes of the 1990s. So what if nobody quotes it or loves it in the way they love something like Titanic or 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain? Money begets money, and that is why, 20 years later, it’s time for not one but two sequels, ID Forever Part 1 and ID Forever Part 2, from gay Hollywood power player Roland Emmerich. So far there’s no sign of a Will Smith buy-in but Bill Pullman is reported to be back on board. We can assume that there will also be a new batch of alien invaders to out-menace the kinder, gentler monsters of 1996. After that’s handled, Emmerich has announced a sequel to another of his ’90s titles, Stargate. More on both as they develop, but all we really want to know is will Stargate: The Next Space Whatever bring The Crying Game’s Jaye Davidson out of acting retirement? Fingers crossed.
Learn this name: Desiree Akhavan
You don’t know her yet, but you will soon enough. Iranian-American next wave talent Desiree Akhavan is a writer and filmmaker whose first feature, Appropriate Behavior, is making waves on the film festival circuit and drawing attention for its hilarious, fresh approach to the problem of identity and visibility for queer women of color. Akhavan stars in the film as Shirin, the perfect Persian daughter who’s also bisexual and who feels like she’s failing at all her various identities. Call it the LGBT Tiny Furniture if you must. Because while comparisons to Lena Dunham may seem very easy at this point, they’re also not completely out of the question, as Akhavan will also co-star on the upcoming season of Dunham’s Girls. We don’t believe in pitting women against each other ’round these parts – unless it results in a spectacular, Dynasty-level, wig-pulling catfight in a fountain, then yes, by all means, go for it – we’re just excited for the alliance of two young voices making strong work for new queer female voices in filmmaking. So don’t forget, it’s spelled A-k-h-a-v-a-n.
HEAR ME OUT: Lykke Li, Lily Allen
- June 26, 2014 - 11:23am
Lykke Li, I Never Learn
Because it’s Lykke Li, heartache is the obvious impetus for I Never Learn, a ceaseless outpouring of dire, pillow-soaked woe inspired by the Swedish singer’s very public post-breakup brokenness. Though best known for her Twilight: New Moon ballad, “Possibility,” that anguish has been Li’s modus operandi since her 2008 debut, Youth Novels (it’s telling that the follow-up was called Wounded Rhymes). But here, especially, Li is sprawled on the floor in pieces, dead. Lamenting how she’s “Never Gonna Love Again” over a rush of melancholy atmospherics, the song is undeniably suited for radio, no matter how un-pop Li claims to be. Similarly ethereal is “Just Like a Dream,” an orchestral torch-song serenade best heard with the lights out, in the quiet of the night. Like a lot of I Never Learn, “Dream” conveys emotional conflict. What she should do isn’t what she wants to do: “I’m letting you go, I’m setting you free.” On “Silverline,” the dankness counters her quest for hope, as she pleads, “be grace, I need it” ... and the cold percussion prevails. This circle of self-defeating torment doesn’t allow for a break in the clouds; Li’s headspace is constantly flooded with fears and doubts, and only on the beautifully lovelorn coda “Sleeping Alone” does she sound like she might save herself. All nine songs are engulfed in dispirited tragedy, but Li’s vulnerable authenticity goes a long way toward making I Never Learn a hopelessly sad catharsis of moving on and letting go.
Grade: A-
Lily Allen, Sheezus
Lily Allen has always been accused of being a pop-music contradiction, a tart who wields the same genre clichés she mocks. Since releasing her 2006 debut Alright, Still, that’s been the draw: Allen’s the antithesis of everything popular, even though she is popular. Some stars prefer to keep their mouths shut, standing quietly on elevators, but not this one. Lily is forthright and unfiltered, and yet, there’s still something elusive about this Londoner. Is she panning or praising her female contemporaries on that Sheezus title track? Does she hate Beyoncé? Who hates Beyoncé? Where’s the Beygency?! It’s refreshing to hear Lily leave a little to the imagination (not much, though – she loves to tell you about her period). Her ambiguity incites an inner dialogue – “What does Lily really think?” – that makes “Sheezus” an amusing tease track. True to her haughty persona, “Hard Out Here” bemoans that a girl can’t catch a break. It’s a fun little feminist anthem, and it’s ludicrous that it’s buried at the tail-end. Also spunky is “Our Time,” a spirited moment of party liberation that breaks from Allen’s perpetual grumblings on, well, just about everyone. Motherhood hasn’t zapped Allen’s lyrical zing, but musically, too many of these songs dawdle into nothingness. Despite previously mentioned standouts, how something so inconsistently throwaway was produced by top-tier pop producer Greg Kurstin is mind-boggling. When it comes down to it, Sheezus needs a Jesus.
Grade: C+
Also Out
Natalie Merchant, Natalie Merchant
Natalie Merchant hasn’t released original music since Motherland. That’s 13 years without the melancholic distress of the songwriter’s self-scribed musings. With this self-titled release, Merchant makes up for lost time, recording relentlessly funereal reflections on grief, addiction and global catastrophe that are satisfyingly grim. “The End” is a string-infused war ballad, “Lulu” beautifully tributes late film star Louise Brooks, and “Ladybird” is Merchant at her ’90s girl-pop zenith. Welcome back, bleakness.
Disclosure, Settle
When a fire starts to burn, you put it out ... right? If you’re the UK duo who snatched a Grammy nod for your polished dance debut, Settle, though, you let it burn. Still charting with “Latch,” a new deluxe edition offers more from the house-beat builders behind the Jessie Ware-assisted “Confess to Me” and the drum-heavy “You & Me.” Supplementing the original release are “Together,” a funky Prince-era jam, and a second version of “F for You” with, of all people, Mary J. Blige, who throws down and takes you to Babylon.
Deep Inside Hollywood: Luke MacFarland, Tyra Banks, Lea Michele
- June 26, 2014 - 11:08am
Physician, heal thy closeted self
A new doctor show is coming to television. Yes, yes, we know, there’s always a new doctor show coming to television. But The Night Shift, premiering May 27 on NBC, has a new wrinkle in its ongoing story line: a closeted doctor. The series revolves around a San Antonio hospital and its night staff, which includes Brendan Fehr (former ’90s teen heartthrob from the show Roswell, remember?) as a young veteran of the war in Afghanistan, now a doctor with a big gay secret. Meanwhile his character’s boyfriend is still on active duty in Afghanistan but coming home to stay, which will put a dent in that closet door. Luke MacFarlane, Brothers & Sisters star and openly gay actor, will play that handsome soldier. If this narrative seems a touch dated now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is well over and marriage equality is quickly coming to pretty much every state in the union, so be it. We trust TV to make us care about hot dudes no matter what sort of contrived problems and angst they deal with. We’ll be watching.
Tyra Banks presents TransAmerica
We’re entering a significant moment in the push forward for awareness and equal rights for the “T” members of the LGBT community. A new wave of transgender awareness, activism and media presence is opening eyes and minds every day. And now Tyra Banks will lend her name and media clout to a docuseries about trans women. Alongside producing partner Gay Rosenthal, Banks will bring TransAmerica (the current working title) to VH1. The eight-part reality series will follow the lives of a group of women in Chicago united by the experience of being transgender. A graduate student, a cosmetics consultant, a medical student, a club kid and a model (look, it’s still Tyra’s show) will open up their lives to the cameras for a look at the variety of life directions taken the cast as they progress through transitioning and beyond. The show is scheduled to air in late 2014/early 2015. And will the trans man show be far behind?
Don’t rain on Lea Michele’s parade
You probably don’t watch Glee anymore, but if you were you’d know that, according to the show, Lea Michele’s character Rachel is burning up Broadway in a revival of Funny Girl and making Barbra Streisand weep tears of joy. Here’s another thing you might not know: Glee creator Ryan Murphy owns the rights to Funny Girl. And power-players like Murphy don’t just snap up rights to stuff like that for kicks. He wants to make that revival happen. He’s said as much recently in the press. And he’s got his star. Of course, that pesky day job of creating a musical TV show will have to run its course – happening soon enough, thanks to Glee’s final season coming round the bend – and there’ll need to be suitable arrangements made for director and co-stars. But considering that Michele’s non-TV work so far has been a horrible Garry Marshall movie (New Year’s Eve) and a horrible children’s cartoon (Legends of Oz) and the unconfirmed rumor of a starring role in the film version of Wicked, she should be gunning for this opportunity with everything she’s got. Broadway loves you, Lea Michele; come back and grab yourself a Tony.
One Big Happy (Ending) for Elisha Cuthbert
When the criminally underrated and underwatched Happy Endings was cancelled, we wept and we cursed. We hoped we’d see the hilarious cast again soon, somewhere just as good (OK, almost just as good, whatever). Well, co-star Elisha Cuthbert has landed herself a job at Power Lesbian, Inc., starring on the new NBC series One Big Happy. Ellen DeGeneres executive produces the series, created by 2 Broke Girls writer Liz Feldman and the premise involves a lesbian (Cuthbert) planning to have a baby with a straight male friend (Nick Zano). Relationship complications ensue, both the hetero and homo varieties. It’s the third LGBT-themed sitcom NBC has offered audiences (Sean Saves The World and The New Normal came first), which means they’re committed to making at least one of them stick. Third times a charm and all that – and the second show for Cuthbert with the word “happy” in the title. That has to be a good sign, right? Either way, we’re rooting for this one.
HEAR ME OUT: Tori Amos, Neon Trees
- June 26, 2014 - 10:59am
Tori Amos, Unrepentant Geraldines
It took Christmas carols, 400-year-old classical music themes and a lovestruck “light princess” for Tori Amos to recapture her burned-out muse. The fire, though, is back with Unrepentant Geraldines, the piano banshee’s first contemporary release since 2009. It was clear then, with the middling Abnormally Attracted to Sin, that Amos was wringing out a dry towel; the peculiarities abided, but the music was some of the most uninspired babble of Amos’ career. Apparently, if you wanna jumpstart your career, you study Schubert. Amos is reinvigorated on Unrepentant Geraldines, a compelling return to the back-to-basics sound of her ‘90s zenith. Though “16 Shades of Blue,” which tackles ageism, is a wonky tech-flecked, laser-beaming ballad delivered on a synth bed, and the gorgeous guitar earthiness of “America” could have been an outtake from Scarlet’s Walk, Amos lets the Bösendorfer take center stage. She’s weak in love on “Wild Way,” a starry-eyed beauty, and “Invisible Boy,” also piano-led, is tender, endearing and nostalgic. “Boy” is an obvious standout, a song that wouldn’t have sounded out of place on any of Tori’s earliest works. Then there’s “Promise,” an inspiring conversation with Amos’ daughter that sweetly embodies the lifelong bond between mother and child. If classical music and holiday carols inspire this kind of work, Tori, get that Christmas playlist going right now.
Grade: B+
Neon Trees, Pop Psychology
Musicians can be funny about their sexuality defining their music, but on Neon Trees’ latest, the gayness of frontman Tyler Glenn – now out, now proud – is embedded into every technicolor beat of the band’s cool synth-pop. Coming of age and shamelessly sex-focused, Pop Psychology, the Mormon band’s third release, is practically a rite of passage. Because though it’s a nonstop rush of New Wave, the first album since Glenn’s coming out goes deeper than its superficial shell – a shell that’s radio accessible but also just a monotonous drone of instantly gratifying beats muddled into one big blur. Uniform to a fault, the disc is front-loaded with a tiring parade of disposable bubblegum party pop: “Love in the 21st Century,” a sly observation on modern-day yearning; the first single, “Sleeping with a Friend”; and “I Love You (But I Hate Your Friends),” where Glenn celebrates “your blatant sexuality.” As a reflection of contemporary relationships and sexual exploration, and writing-wise, Pop Psychology is an engrossing project, making the album all the more frustrating. During the back half, there’s promise in a duet with his bandmate, Elaine Bradley, on “Unavoidable,” and with a synth loop reminiscent of Alphaville’s “Forever Young” on “Voices in the Hall.” The rest should be as solid, but it’s just not. Instead, Neon Trees’ latest leaves you with a bunch of coulda-beens.
Grade: C
Also Out
Augustana, Life Imitating Life
Augustana has come a long way from “Boston,” the song that put the San Diego band on the map and is easily their most well-known. Since its release in 2005, though, those romanticized rhythms have more in common with Bruce Springsteen than Coldplay ... and the band members? Except for bearded frontman Dan Layus, they’ve all bailed. Still, committing to the soulful heartland sound of its underappreciated predecessor, Life Imitating Life is another earnest outing, and “Remember Me,” a sincerely moving coda, is its swan song.
Neneh Cherry, Blank Project
Had time been at a stand-still, Neneh Cherry could’ve slipped this one by without anyone questioning the 18 years that have passed in the interim. It’s been that long since Cherry released Man, but you’d never know it by the ingenuity and tangibility of her experimental comeback Blank Project. And it’s more than that, even: The greatest asset here is Cherry’s disarming honesty, a quality that makes liberating fodder out of “Weightless” and “Out of the Black,” featuring someone who knows a little something about dancing on your own: fellow Swede Robyn.
Deep inside hollywood: Queen Latifah, Rihanna and Jim Parsons
- June 26, 2014 - 10:42am
Queen Latifah will bend it like Bessie
So she’s never returned to the glorious swagger of her stone-butch, bank-robbin’ Set It Off days. And she’s being very old-school Jodie about talking/not-talking about her off-camera life. Still. But damn it, we love Queen Latifah anyway; we can’t help ourselves. And her new project isn’t hurting things at all: a biopic of bisexual blues goddess Bessie Smith, directed by acclaimed young lesbian filmmaker Dee Rees. Mostly we’re happy for Rees, of course. After making a splash with her critically loved yet under-seen Pariah, we were worried she’d get jerked around and ignored by Hollywood’s indifference machine. But HBO is partnered up with this one – tentatively titled Blue Goose Hollow – and that means no begging for a chance to direct basic cable sitcoms and TV movies nobody watches for this talented director. Who knows, maybe Latifah guided her longtime pet project to Rees; that’s a nice thing to wishfully imagine happening. And if it’s true then that’s more Get Out Of Gay Pride Jail Free cards for the warm, friendly, mind-your-own-business superstar. Look for this one to hit the airwaves in 2015.
At home with Rihanna and … Jim Parsons
The idea of Rihanna starring alongside Jim Parsons actually makes a little more sense than Rihanna starring alongside aliens in a film based on a sea-faring, military-themed board game. And this time around it’s not even live-action. The movie is called Home (way to make that one practically un-Google-able, you guys), it’s due this Thanksgiving from DreamWorks and director Tim Johnson (Over The Hedge, Antz) and it’s… oh, wait, it’s also about aliens. Anyway, these aliens aren’t out to sink anyone’s battleships. They simply want a new home and think they’re helping humanity by trying to relocate them. RiRi voices a headstrong teenage girl named Tip (whose mother is voiced by Jennifer Lopez) who’s managed to elude the aliens. Tip wants to set things right and Parsons is, of course, one of the space invaders (alongside Steve Martin). On its way to the kind of predictably happy ending guaranteed in animated family movies, the film can claim at least one cinematic victory – it marks another step in the right direction by featuring a young, female, African-American heroine, something nobody was in a hurry to do after the middling success of The Princess and the Frog. It can’t rightfully be called a trend. But wouldn’t it be cool if it became one?
MTV plans to tackle the real-life real world
A recent study has suggested that MTV’s 16 and Pregnant has bucked the trend of exploitation reality programming and actually had a positive effect on the number of teenage girls giving birth. In other words, kids are watching, taking note of what a bummer it is to be a teen parent, and avoiding the whole mess. So why not more programming that might sway kids in a positive direction? That’s the plan at the network (no, old person, they haven’t shown any Human League videos for quite some time) where a series of programs are due to roll out. Confirmed titles include True Life: I’m a Gay Athlete and something called Untitled Whiteness Project (honestly, we don’t know if that’s the title or if it really is untitled), as well as a variety of PSAs meant to encourage Millenials in the direction of understanding issues like racial privilege, gender bias and sexual orientation. And even if these shows are just drops in a bucket, they’re preferable additions to that one where teenagers threw tantrums over their birthday parties. We’ve thankfully forgotten the name and do not wish to be reminded.
More of that stuff you like
It’s official. HBO is bringing back its cancelled cult sitcom The Comeback, starring Lisa Kudrow as an obnoxious, grasping, D-lister. We wondered and wished and hoped and prayed and it’s happening. So thanks, TV gods. You are not 100 percent horrible all the time, even if you did snatch Happy Endings away from our warm embrace. And gay people, you probably missed it the first time around (hence its initial cancellation), so don’t sleep on this caustic comedy anymore… Meanwhile, Orange is The New Black? Picked up for a third season, you say? Yes, please and thank you. There is no greater piece of lesbian/trans/funny/weird television programming happening in the United States right now and it should be a show forever, so this is excellent news for everyone… And what’s that? Pitch Perfect 2 is really casting and Elizabeth Banks will direct and everyone from the first film is “rumored” to be returning? We like that, too, just as long as they don’t ignore songwriter Ester Dean (the only person currently missing from the rumor roster); the a cappella world, to be truly satisfying, must have as many lesbians as it has songs about cups.
Cheers to Summer: 10 Must-Have Drink Recipes to Sip in the Sun
- June 26, 2014 - 10:31am
1. Cherry POM
While Southern Comfort-loving frat boys are slinging back Soco and Limes like their paddles depend on it – because heterosexuality is only 55 proof in a house with wall-to-wall dudes – you can take a more sophisticated approach to the New Orleans-born spirit by serving up these come-to-papa Cherry POMs poolside this summer.
1 1/4 oz Southern Comfort Bold Black Cherry
2 oz lemonade
1 oz pomegranate juice
Lemon twist garnish
Combine liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend. Strain into
large rocks glass over fresh ice. Garnish with lemon twist.
2. Green Iced Tea
Tea sommelier James Labe – did you know there was such a thing? – has created several healthy-as-they-come cocktails using various Numi Organic flavors. This recipe introduces ginger lemon to tequila for a whole new take on teatime.
1 Numi Decaf Ginger Lemon Tea
3 oz fresh cucumber juice
1 1/2 oz tequila
Splash of Lemon Juice
Infuse one tea bag in tequila for 30 minutes, then remove bag, squeezing
out excess. Combine and stir ingredients. Serve on the rocks. Garnish with lime wedge.
3. Skinny Colada
If you’re minding your beach body this summer – in hopes that someone else wouldn’t mind it, of course – you’ll want to add this simple-but-satisfying booze fix to the mix.
3 parts Vita Coco Coconut Water with Pineapple
1 part coconut rum
Fill a highball glass with ice. Add Vita Coco Coconut Water with Pineapple and coconut rum. Stir, sip and enjoy.
4. Passion XO Fun in the Sun Spritzer
When you can’t whisk yourself away to a tropical locale this summer, enjoy the next best thing with this fruity concoction of island flavors that’ll kick your gay staycation into high gear.
2 bottles of Passion XO Sun
12 oz reposado tequila
20 oz passion fruit juice
10 oz lime juice
4 oz agave nectar
Lime wheels and mint sprigs
Combine all ingredients in a punch bowl and serve over fresh ice in a rocks
glass. Garnish with lime wheels and mint sprigs.
5. Berentzen Pear Bramble
Berentzen – well known for its fruit liqueurs in Europe – has set its sights stateside with a slew of back-porch-perfect recipes ideal for unwinding on a balmy summer’s eve. If you happen to live in a place where you can pick your own berries, all the better.
1 oz Berentzen Pear
1 oz gin
3/4 oz fresh lemon juice
3/4 oz simple syrup
4 blackberries
1 pear slice
Muddle three blackberries in mixing glass. Add Berentzen Pear, gin, lemon juice and simple syrup. Stir gently and strain into large rocks glass filled with crushed ice. Garnish with a blackberry and slice of pear.
6. Añejo Highball
Don’t have time to tailgate the Airstream Speakeasy as it travels cross-country this summer? Never fear. This bespoke mobile VIP cocktail experience, in partnership with Tequila Don Julio, brings the party to you with a few Mex-cellent masterpieces, including this recipe with a citrus splash.
1 1/4 oz Tequila Don Julio Añejo
1/3 oz orange liqueur
1/4 tsp fresh lime juice
Ginger beer
Lime wedge
Combine Tequila Don Julio Añejo, orange liqueur and fresh lime juice into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well. Strain into a highball glass over ice. Top with ginger beer. Garnish with a lime wedge.
7. Espresso Martini
Start the day with even more pep in your step with this decidedly weekend take on a weekday staple. Up and at ‘em.
1 1/2 parts Kahlúa
1 part Absolut Vodka
1 fresh brewed espresso
Fill a shaker with ice, add Kahlúa, Absolut Vodka and a fresh brewed espresso. Shake vigorously, and strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a couple fresh espresso beans.
8. 43 Pineapple
No faux luau would be complete without this sweet treat that’ll bring you one step closer to getting leied.
1 1/4 oz Licor 43
1/3 oz Luksusowa Vodka
6 oz pineapple juice
Shake and strain over fresh ice in a highball glass and garnish with an orange wheel.
9. Wise Margarita
The Owl’s Brew – artisanal, fresh-brewed, ready-to-pour teas crafted especially for cocktails – are essential to those lazy summer brunches where less work means more play. Sit back, relax and enjoy the view.
1 part fresh pressed watermelon juice
1 part Pink & Black
1 part tequila
Shake with mint. Garnish with mint, lime and watermelon
10. Ocean Thai Berry
You can almost hear the bare-chested beach volleyball team slappin’ ass when you put your ear up to the glass. Do you need another reason to get this drink on?
1 1/2 oz Ocean Vodka
2 oz fresh strawberries
1 oz fresh lemonade
4 fresh Thai basil leaves
1 oz club soda
Muddle strawberries and Thai basil in the bottom of a shaker. Add Ocean Vodka and lemonade, and bruise. Pour into a collins glass and top with club soda. Garnish with a basil leaf.